Coz nobody cares.
I’m going to write this down in hope that it might get it off my chest and i can start to feel happier again. doubt it tho.
So life sucks, im stuck in a rut and i personally feel either Wayne needs to take one step forwards or im going to have to take 2 back and start all over again.
Now work is back on track and i am happily settling into my new position, i am now getting seriously down about my relationship. theres only so much me time i can cope with.
I know he’s working extra shifts (still at least 10/15hours less a week then me),
I know he’s working out more to get his six-pack…
and of course i understand it makes him tired
But i still exist, and im fed up of being ignored and the only way of spending time together and doing something together is to watch a stinking movie or some tv!!
Am i truely that hidious that you just dont want me anymore
is it too much to ask to actually feel wanted once in a while, be taken out for dinner, go bowling, go swimming, go do something together outside our flat.
Its not like im asking him to take me on holiday or anything!
all im asking is to be made to feel wanted, coz right now i feel like im his flatmate which shares a bed not even one with benefits.
I’m not high-maintainance or anything like that, just once a month would be nice,
And i know he thinks flowers are a crap symbol for love because they only last a few days then die… BUT AT LEAST THE FUCKING THOUGHT WAS THERE and i love flowers, i love to recieve flowers, it just shows you care…..
and in my mind…………..you dont.
so do i wait any longer? im getting old and time is running out, do i wait an see if you care, if you actually want to spend the rest of your life with me, or do i need to move on. I whole heartedly love you and want to spend forever with you but i cant be staying like this forever.
I want to get married and i want to have children, and i want to try for them before i’m menopausal.
And if thats not what you want then let me no and i’ll learn to stop loving you and i’ll move on.