I’m going to write this down in hope that it might get it off my chest and i can start to feel happier again. doubt it tho.
So life sucks, im stuck in a rut and i personally feel either Wayne needs to take one step forwards or im going to have to take 2 back and start all over again.
Now work is back on track and i am happily settling into my new position, i am now getting seriously down about my relationship. theres only so much me time i can cope with.
I know he’s working extra shifts (still at least 10/15hours less a week then me),
I know he’s working out more to get his six-pack…
and of course i understand it makes him tired
But i still exist, and im fed up of being ignored and the only way of spending time together and doing something together is to watch a stinking movie or some tv!!
Am i truely that hidious that you just dont want me anymore
is it too much to ask to actually feel wanted once in a while, be taken out for dinner, go bowling, go swimming, go do something together outside our flat.
Its not like im asking him to take me on holiday or anything!
all im asking is to be made to feel wanted, coz right now i feel like im his flatmate which shares a bed not even one with benefits.
I’m not high-maintainance or anything like that, just once a month would be nice,
And i know he thinks flowers are a crap symbol for love because they only last a few days then die… BUT AT LEAST THE FUCKING THOUGHT WAS THERE and i love flowers, i love to recieve flowers, it just shows you care…..
and in my mind…………..you dont.
so do i wait any longer? im getting old and time is running out, do i wait an see if you care, if you actually want to spend the rest of your life with me, or do i need to move on. I whole heartedly love you and want to spend forever with you but i cant be staying like this forever.
I want to get married and i want to have children, and i want to try for them before i’m menopausal.
And if thats not what you want then let me no and i’ll learn to stop loving you and i’ll move on.
Sam Nixon = great bum!!
Ok I’ve decided as my mind is still going even tho I wanna sleep I’m going to blog my crazy thoughts in hopes that i’ll then fall sleep.
So I’m laying in bed alone (Wayne’s playing wow) and I was thinking about dancing on ice and how nice it is that the American celebs are out of the competition (nought against Americans… But they were rather pants!!)
To then thinking, I’m glad that Sam Nixon stayed in this week, he was worthy and bless his sidekick marks face when Sam got put in the skate off, cuteness.
Then my mind went very quickly to Sam’s white trousers, in general not overly flattering but my goodness that man has a sexy ass!!
To then the isn’t he sweet just wanna squeeze them cheeks (face not bum, keep up) and aww cute yet cheeky smile, yep ok Sam Nixon would probs be worthy of THE LIST!!!!!!!
From that quickly changing to Ant and Dec, two great guys, usually funny but a wonderful duo… This probs because Dec IS already on THE LIST coz of his great ass ;D
I got to thinking, did Ant and Dec think way back in the Biker grove days that they would go from being sweet Pj and Duncan to award winning Ant and Dec, known to probs every person living in the uk, even if they don’t have a tv ( yep there just that good)
Wither you remember them for they quick whit or the charming ways or just for the size of Ant’s forehead, without a doubt we all know who they are…. But did they think that this is where they’d be know????
So I have asked on twitter….(won’t get a reply… I never do) but fingers crossed coz I’d like to know.
I have now started to wonder who Ant got his big forehead from…( probs better not to ask him that one tho could be considered a little rude)
I think that’s it… FOR NOW!!
are you fucking kidding me?!?!!?!?!?! I mean I know that Billie is sexy and everyone wanna be like him but…. Robert you never gonna be sexy enough like billie is a BIllie Joe’s thing
Watching sex and the city is really making me wanna get married and have babies…. Shame my other half isn’t anywhere near my way of thinking :(
So after another night of crazy dreaming, i am feeling the need to try and put it down on ‘paper’
So Viking Erik (true blood) in his youth going out hunting ends up falling from his horse and landing face down in the mud, grunting loudly.
he then gets back up on his horse and rides off home again.
MEANWHILE his father is meeting on the battlefield. Battle commences!
Then flashback to Erik waiting his fathers return from the battle and they then decide that he isn’t coming and the memorial begins, father walks in and starts shouting at Erik for not being at the battle and for falling from his horse.. how he knew this i know.
So on waking my thoughts were:
‘where has all the honour in warfare gone?’
i was thinking when did meeting on the battlefield end and why? why does battle happen in urban areas? and when did it become OK for innocent people to die?
I’m not starting an anti-army thing I have no issue with people choosing to join the army and totally respect the guys and girls that fight to keep us safe.
Just what happened to the honourable battle, the maidens in pointy hats, the old fashion sword fight.
Who and why did some1 make guns, what would spark that thought?
was it guns that was the end to a honourable fight?
So sorry to say this again, but
So whilst carving my lunch today i had a thought,
How can we really complain about dying without dignity, especially when we look at a poor chickens life!
So it starts in a battery farm or if there lucky free range.
Then once they’ve been force-fed enough food and they then get hung up by their feet, electrocuted and have their throats slit, and then they are left to drip dry.
after all that they are plucked and and beheaded.
You’d think that’s enough for the poor little birds but then
They get stabbed by skures(i know i cant spell) and shoved in an oven, THEN we shove a FORK yes a FORK up there arse whilst we crave all its meat off and then shove the leftovers in the bin.
BUT DAMN IT STILL TASTES GOOD
the moral of this rather weird and boring blog is appreciate the chicken and its rather brutal life and death.
So my friends on fb are doing this silly app which ‘predicts’ something that will happen to me in 2012.
A friend of mine will supposedly dye her hair blue this year,
Another will start hitting the gym
But for me it seemed like the app froze and that nothing was happening, so I refreshed the page and I had 3 predictions on my wall
1. Will win a million £
2. Will find a diamond ring
3. To travel the world
Well as you can see I like my predictions more then my friends ones!!
But if number 1 comes true then I’m pretty sure my bf will make number 2 happen then need I say honeymoon!!!